The Drunken Party
by Tennak
Summary: Renji and some of his shinigami friends are having a night out drinking. Matsumoto brings the young substitute. Renji feels that he rarely wins anything, but maybe this time? Oneshot. RenjixIchigo.


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**Pairing**: RenjixIchigo + others  
**Wordcount**: A little over 4000  
**Warnings**: Language, multiple pairings, a threesome,  
**Spoilers**: Probably none, takes place after the Rescue Arc!  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own Bleach! I'm just borrowing for fun. None of the characters I use are below the age of consent in this story!  
**Summary**: All the usual friends get drunk together and Renji wins for once.

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Ikkaku was slapping Renji's back howling with laughter.  
"Avv, come on, man! You're pathetic!"

He looked at his friend through half lidded eyes, grinning from ear to ear and continuously banging his fist on the rough plank table in front of him. "Why don't you just ask him?"

He raised his voice to yell at the barkeep. "Oy! We need more sake! Oy, you! Over here!"  
The tall barman raised his hand in acknowledgement and Ikkaku lifted his hand showing the man that he wanted six pitchers by flashing first five fingers and then one more. The man gave a thumbs up to show that he got it!

Ikkaku turned his attention back to the problem at hand. "Av, come on, Renji! You big wuss! Just grab the bull by the horns!"  
His own wit had him howling with laughter again and Iba and Yumichika joined him in mocking the sorry looking lieutenant.

Yumichika sat beside Iba in front of Renji and leaned over the long table to slap Renji's head upside down making Iba laugh so hard that he dropped the mug he was currently lifting, spilling the contents in his own lap!  
"Oy! Watch it!" He was suddenly all serious.

Shuuhei wolf-whistled loudly from beside Renji. "Oy … free sake for anyone giving Iba a blowjob!"

Yumichika looked interested. Not at the offer of doing Iba, that was just gross, but the fact that Shuuhei was getting genuinely drunk this time, and happy drunk at that, peaked his interest.

They had for far too long seen a very sad looking lieutenant trying to keep himself together but slump next to Kira and feel sorry for them both. If Shuuhei was getting back to normal now was probably the time to test him and his feelings. The guy was just simply gorgeous!

Renji had sunk lower in his seat holding his arms over his head.  
"What'd you do that for?" He whined loudly and glared daggers at Yumichika promising himself through the sake induced haze in his mind that he would get back at the pretty man sometime.

Kira felt a little sorry for Renji but the big dope could just learn not to reveal everything to everybody. Never the less he felt enough to try to quiet his rowdy comrades. "Shush! Tone it down you guys! Give Abarai-san a break!"

Just as Ikkaku was getting impatient and turned to get the attention of the barman again, said man was standing right behind him, placing the six pitchers of sake in the middle of the table. He then proceeded to remove all the empty pitchers and when he was about to leave three new people arrived at the rowdy table.

Matsumoto smiled big and waved to the guys. The barman's eyes were trying to invade her cleavage and she placed a hand under his chin lifting his head up so they were seeing eye to eye. "Three clean mugs, 3 pitchers of sake and a big jug of water!"

When her hand left him his eyes turned automatically down again. He looked flabbergasted at the sizeable chest in front of him and Matsumoto leaned into his ear whispering. "Keep staring and loose those pitchers."  
He looked at her face clearly seeing a tiny drop of pure evil in her eyes. He hurried away with his pitchers.

"Hi guys! Mind if we join you?"  
Without waiting for an answer she was already making room for more people around the table. Shuuhei, who sat next to Renji beside a length of empty bench, suddenly felt himself being pushed away from the red head.

Matsumoto sat down between them shoving herself closer to Shuuhei and tugging down Ichigo to the empty seat between herself and Renji.

Captain Hitsugaya vent to the other side and sat down next to Kira. He breathed out an audible sigh and leaned his arms on the table.  
Kira smiled at the exhausted looking small man, and having just poured himself a mug of fresh sake, offered the mug to Hitsugaya.  
"Ahh, thanks Kira!" He replied as he emptied the mug in one go.

Ichigo began to feel exactly like a fly in a spider's web as all eyes turned to look at him and everyone suddenly sported eerily looking grins that honestly frightened him. He was definitely the centre of everyone's attention.  
"Erm … hi guys …" His voice trailed.

There was a long drawn out silence.  
Even the barman observed that the rowdy table was being quiet for a change.

Ichigo noticed that everyone tended to shift their eyes between Renji and himself. Yumichika suddenly sniggered in his hand. "Oy, talk about the sun!  
Ichigo looked at the others in disbelief. Had they been talking about him? He looked up to see Iba waving happily at him and he slowly and reluctantly lifted a hand to wave back. Were they a bit more moronic than usual?

The barman brought the items, that Matsumoto had ordered, and had trouble averting his gaze from the prominent feature of the astounding looking woman. Why was this amazing woman all alone with this bunch of drunken shit heads? The world surely was an evil place!

Matsumoto smiled her most winning smile at the barkeep and when he bent over her seated figure to put their order on the table and of course to study her grand assets further she smiled with glee and threw her elbow real hard at the part of his anatomy that hurt the most!

All around the table a sympathetic "Ouch" could be heard. Every man in the bar who had witnessed, what she had just done, bend over a little feeling the hurt and looking at the limping barman with sympathy.

Ichigo felt sorry for the man but at least it removed the unwanted attention from himself. He ignored Yumichika when the pretty man started giggling again. Maybe he was simply being more obnoxious than usual? Yeah, that had to be it!

Matsumoto poured a full mug of sake for herself, her captain and Kira and then toasted them. Ichigo looked at her with wonder. What? Did she expect him to drink water?

He reached across the table for the last clean mug and a pitcher of sake as Matsumoto grabbed both things from his hands.  
"We don't want you drunk, do we?" As she spoke she had filled the mug almost to the brink with sake, topped it with a microscopic amount of water and placed it in front of Ichigo looking very satisfied with herself.

Renji, having forgotten all about his miserable feelings from earlier, was howling with laughter. Seeing Matsumoto being concerned for the well being of the deathly young man really tickled his funny-bone.  
"Fuck Ran! Yer not thinning' his drink, are ya? Hilarious!" He pointed a finger at her just below Ichigo's nose.  
Matsumoto looked with regret at Ichigo. "Sorry about this!"

And then she grabbed Renji's offending hand, pulled him closer right over Ichigo's lap and hit him hard on top of his head with her fist.  
He looked crestfallen at his busty colleague. "What'd you do that for?"

She ignored the drunken red head and toasted Ichigo in a voice that sounded as if she felt sorry for him. "You could do so much better, you know!"  
Ichigo didn't quite understand her meaning but as Renji had stayed across his lap he grabbed his shoulder and tried to get the drunk man to move.

Renji turned his head in little jerks to look at the man, he was currently sprawled over, and when he noticed that it was Ichigo his face lit up and he looked really happy. "Hiya Ichigo! I'm so glad you're … here!"  
When the smell from his drunken friend hit him Ichigo fanned himself with a hand. The guys had been drinking for some time that was obvious! "Oy! Renji! Don't hang on me! You're heavy!"

Renji tried to move but ended up with his face buried in Ichigo's crotch. Ichigo's face turned instantly red. "You moron! Sit up!"  
Renji was innocently enjoying the feeling of Ichigo and that he was laying across his friends lap. He tried to comply with Ichigo's request and got up on an elbow on Ichigo's thigh just to collapse back to his friends lap.

"Noo! Get up!" Ichigo was getting very embarrassed about this.  
Why did his friend have to be so drunk? He had to do something about this situation as some of the others around the table were beginning to look interested at his predicament.

He learned over the red head and whispered in his ear. "Come on Renji! You're embarrassing me! Please!"  
Renji relished the feeling of his friend and loved the sound of his voice. Even through the drunken haze he was well aware that his friends had arranged this get together so he could confess his feeling to the younger man.

He wasn't sure that he would ever find the nerve and unfortunately it had taken far to much sake to get here.  
Ichigo almost wanted to cry and whispered through gritted teeth. "Renji! You freakin' moron! SIT UP!"

Renji had reached a point where he was drunk enough not to care about the position he was in, with his nose buried in Ichigo's crotch, and still be completely aware of the effect his closeness had on him.

He nuzzled even closer and began to feel the same kind of excitement he could feel from his friend. He could smell the arousal and he could clearly identify why Ichigo sounded strained. Ichigo was getting hard!

Renji buried his nose in the incredible heat. Oh! The smell was making him dizzy! He shook his head trying to clear the haze but had trouble doing so. Ichigo was simply wonderful! He had to get the young man to understand his feelings for him! Even Ikkaku said that!

Ichigo was being very annoyed and very quiet. The feeling of his friends hot breath on his growing erection was simply too much. That drunken bastard! He kind of liked Renji a lot but not like this and most certainly not in front of all their friends.

He tried again to lift Renji's upper body away from him and this time he succeeded in pushing the annoying man backwards. He quickly decided to lower him to the floor behind the bench as the easiest way out and held on to him, as he didn't want him to smash his head to the floor.

His project would probably have succeeded if only Renji had not realized that he was getting further and further away from Ichigo. He resolutely grabbed hold of the arm that was holding onto him resulting in both guys landing in a heap behind the bench.

Matsumoto and Ikkaku both looked at the guys on the floor between them and then they looked at each other howling with laughter. It was proving to be very entertaining to bring the two loud guys together.

Iba looked drunkenly surprised. "Where'd they go?"  
Yumichika felt that his large friend was being dumber than usual. "They just fell, you big dope!"  
Iba shook his head and glared at the pretty man. "What'd you call me?"

This time Yumichika shook his head and simply removed Iba's shades. "You can't see shit with these on! They fell to the floor!"  
Iba looked excited and tried to get up. "Wow! Renji really did it! Cool!"

Before he realized just how much sake he had consumed reality hit him and he sat back down on the bench making Yumichika smirk at his friends surprised expression. Iba without his glasses! What a rare sight indeed!

Kira and Hitsugaya had kept toasting each other and even if the small captain had been several mugs of sake behind the blond lieutenant they were quickly getting close to the same level of intoxication.

Shuuhei was currently studying them thinking to himself that he understood less and less of their conversation while the two grinning guys seemed to understand more and more of each other.

Matsumoto moved to the other side of the table to sit beside her captain. Her very cute captain she thought to herself. He was having a great time with Kira and she poured them both some more sake. Might as well see where this would lead!

She observed the two guys for a little while and then she grew bored and wanted to participate. She pondered how to go about it and eventually she simply grabbed her captain around the neck, oh so incredible kissable, and giving in to her desires, planted a big sloppy kiss on his cute cheek.

He was a little surprised at first but since it was becoming a regular occurrence with his busty lieutenant, he kept talking animatedly with Kira while Matsumoto was hanging around his neck.

Kira couldn't keep his eyes away from the two people in front of him. They looked so close and so at ease together! Why couldn't he have the same? Why had he been abandoned?

So Kira did what Matsumoto had already done. He gave in to his desires and leaned closer to the small captain eventually giving him a little peck on the right cheek.

Matsumoto noticed this and smiled at the two men before her. She motioned at Kira to come closer and as he did, she grabbed his uniform top and pulled him in for a kiss on the lips. Hitsugaya looked surprised at the action just above his nose but then his face broke into the most wonderful smile and the two others turned their faces and smiled back at him.

Shuuhei couldn't tear his eyes away from the interaction of the three people on the other side of the table. It was the cutest thing he had ever seen! They simply seemed to belong together. If this was any indication at least three of the people here would be getting cosy to night! He smiled a little wistful to himself.

Yumichika was getting very bored. Ikkaku and Iba were having another idiotic argument about the quality of light and idiots wearing shades indoors. Usually when the two guys began to get really obnoxious it was time to give the sake a rest and get some tea on the table. Yumichika quickly decided that the morons had to take care of their own asses as he didn't feel like mothering them.

The reason for this party, Renji and his cute human friend, had sunk below the bench and neither of the two guys had since reappeared.  
He could go to see what they were doing but he was quite sure it was one of two options: either asleep or making out! And as enjoyable as it could be to watch the latter he didn't just want to be a spectator to day!

He turned on the bench to look at the three remaining people beside him. Well that looked quite delicious! So Matsumoto had finally gotten through to her normally so serious captain. They had had a bet running for the longest time about when the two officers of 10th would get together, just like they had one on Renji and his human friend! (And as Yumichika wasn't aware of - just like they had one on Shuuhei and him!)

He observed their actions a little closer thinking that maybe he could join in the fun. Matsumoto was presently attacking Kira's mouth and Hitsugaya was gazing at them with drunken admiration waiting patiently for his turn!  
When Matsumoto let Kira go the small captain grabbed his friend and continued the kissing while Matsumoto hugged them both.

Yumichika enjoyed the sight wholeheartedly but quickly realized that he could have fired off some of Ganju's annoying explosives and they wouldn't have noticed. He emptied his mug with a sullen expression.

He was just about to get up and find somebody else to play with when a movement on the other side of the table caught his attention. He looked in the direction of the hand that waved and became very delighted when he noticed Shuuhei motioning to him, to come to his side of the table.

Yumichika grabbed the two pitchers of sake closest to him and hurried around the table to throw himself on the bench beside the next best looking man in the bar! He sighed with pleasure when he looked at Shuuhei from close beside him. This was surely heaven.

Shuuhei smiled back at the smaller man who beamed his pleasure towards him. He had been intrigued by the pretty man ever since the incident before that wretched Aizen and the other two captains had abandoned everyone.

He had fought Yumichika and the guy had literally sucked him dry of all his riatsu leaving him strangely spent but also with an odd tinkle inside. Usually he would have been furious at having lost to a lower ranking member but even if Yumichika had stolen something from him, he had also left something unforgettable behind.

The incredible infuriating 5th seat had left him with a very satisfying tinkle that he had not been able to forget and he had known for some time that he wanted to try some of that feeling again.

He filled his mug with sake and smiling invitingly presented it to Yumichika.  
"I've wanted to talk for a very long time!" He bend close to the pretty man and said this in a low and sultry voice.  
Yumichika beamed back at him. "Me too!"

Ikkaku in the mean time was busy trying to capture the barman's attention. The man ignored the bunch of savages on purpose but just before Ikkaku was loosing it completely, he sent his barmaid to serve the beasts.

She was nowhere as well endowed as Matsumoto but she was tall, cheeky and had long blond hair. Ikkaku and Iba both forgot all about their stupid argument and started flirting with the woman. She clearly liked the attention the two men were giving her.

Earlier when she had observed the loud guys around this table she had thought that the guy with the feathers, the guy with the 69 tattoo and the guy with the red ponytail were really good looking. But since they was apparently already taken she decided to make do with these two flirts. Besides they were both kind of cute!

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Ichigo had landed on top of Renji effectively knocking the wind out of the older man. That had helped to clear Renji's head a little and when his lungs started working again he opened his eyes and was surprised and very pleased to gaze straight into Ichigo's beautiful brown orbs.

The younger man tried to apologize but Renji placed a finger on his lips to shut him up. "I like you here, Ichigo! Don't run away! … Please!"  
Ichigo looked confused. "What?"

Renji felt the same urgency that he had felt earlier. He wanted so badly to make Ichigo understand his feelings before the young guy started beating him up or running away. "Please, Ichigo. Stay here."

Ichigo regarded him with uncertainty but as Renji let his right hand caress his cheek and follow the contours of his head to play with his short spiky hair he felt that this was exactly right.

Renji lifted his other hand to remove the string holding his own rather ruffled ponytail in place all the time keeping eye contact with the younger guy. "Stay with me. Please."

Ichigo wasn't running anywhere. He was beginning to understand something about the nature of his relationship with the loud mouth and he felt the same kind of urgency that Renji felt, that he needed to understand what Renji was saying.

He looked at Renji. "But why … you love Rukia, right?"  
Renji felt like hitting his head on the floor below him. "Duh, ya moron! Like ya love yer sisters!"

He tried to hold Ichigo's eyes with his own. "And I thought ya were the one loving Rukia?"  
Ichigo looked thoughtful and then he smiled his most beautiful smile.  
"Yeah exactly like a sister and certainly nothing like this!" He ground his hips into Renji's showing the other man precisely who he liked and what he meant.

It was Renji's turn to look thoughtful. "So ya like guys?"  
Ichigo smiled at Renji's disorientation. "Well, duh, what do you think?"  
Renji's whole face changed and he looked downright evil. "Well, I think I like it! Come here!"

He caressed the beautiful, sinewy neck in front of him and pulled the young guy down to kiss him thoroughly while Ichigo grabbed a handful of Renji's loose hair and establish that it did really feel like the purest silk. This day was definitely brightening up.

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Some time later Yumichika and Shuuhei were getting ready to leave the bar. They were well beyond the point of debating where to spend the night and the two men were looking at each other in a way that would make most spectators blush heavily.

They had seen Matsumoto drag her two drunken admirers' off into the night, all three making out even on the doorstep of the bar, giving the patrons a damn fine show, as they all agreed later. A lot of them had gazed longingly after the three shinigami thinking that they were pretty damn lucky!

The spectacle had made Yumichika giggle joyfully while Shuuhei had wolf-whistled after their retreating colleagues. He curled a lock of Yumichika's hair around a finger looking thoughtful. "We have to tell everyone about this!"

Yumichika looked puppy-eyed up at his friend. "Ah, let them have their fun for now! At least no one saw this development!" He danced happily in front of the second prettiest man around eventually grabbing a well muscled arm wholeheartedly enjoying the feeling of his very male friend.

Shuuhei smiled at the cheerfully jumping man and placed his arm around Yumichika's nicely swaying hips making him still his movement. They gazed lovingly at each other and Shuuhei bent over sharing a slow and deep kiss with the smaller man.  
When they split again he asked, "what about Renji and his boy toy?"

Yumichika turned to look at the two guys on the floor. Hmm, at least they were not sleeping. He giggled loudly and smiled at his newfound friend. "Oh, I'd say that Renji got his man!"

Ichigo caught the movement and saw Yumichika and Shuuhei leave the bar with their arms around each other. They looked very comfortable and as Ichigo gaped at them he saw Yumichika's hand squeeze Shuuhei's behind.

In the last moment Shuuhei turned and caught the young guy's eyes. Ichigo blushed nicely and Shuuhei winked wickedly back at him.  
He turned to the red head who was now situated above him. "Hey Renji! Are Shuuhei and Yumichika together?" Renji looked quite surprised at the question. "Not as far as I know, at least not yet"

His facial expression slowly changed to a look of doom. "Fuck! I have a bet riding on those two! Are you sure?"  
Ichigo nodded. "Oh yeah! Quite sure!"  
"Ah hell. I never win at anything!"  
Ichigo lifted an eyebrow and stared incredulous at him. "Hrm?"

Then he brushed part of the red curtain aside and stole a kiss from Renji. After some time they both let go and he pushed at the older man's chest. "Let's get up!"

To their immense surprise none of their party was left. They were alone and a sour looking barman was slowly emptying the table.  
Some of the other patrons whistled and cheered loudly when the two guys appeared with their clothes and hair in disarray. Ichigo tried stiffly to ignore the sound and instantly blushed.

Renji on the other hand loved the attention and bowed deeply to the cheering audience. To him this was definitely a time to rejoice.

The barman looked even sulkier than before and Renji approached him with caution. "Did my friends leave?"  
The tall man looked incredulous at the red head. "Can you see them anywhere?"  
He mimicked scanning the room and moved closer to Renji. "The bald guy told me to tell you, that you owe him. He paid the bill before he and the big guy with the shades left with MY barmaid."

He almost spat the next words. "The big-breasted fury left with her two young guys some time ago and the fruitcake and the 69 guy have just left, together."

Renji bowed quickly before the man and mumbled a humble, "thanks!"

Oh. So Ichigo's observation of Yumi and Shuuhei had been correct. Interesting! And Ran had left with Kira and the small captain.

Well it seemed he had lost his stake on both polls but as he looked at Ichigo, who tried in vain to get his clothes back in order, he laughed silently and thought that maybe, just maybe he was lucky where it counted!

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END

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AN:

This is an older story. It has been sitting on my LJ site for some time.

I love using many of Tite Kubo's delightful characters when I write. Fitting them together in pairings feels just like laying a puzzle!


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